


Evil Fluffy Creature of Death and Destruction

by SMenace25



Series: Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived to Annoy [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:00:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22159000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SMenace25/pseuds/SMenace25
Summary: Harry Potter has a birthday present for The Dark Lord. Severus Snape wonders why he got out of bed.
Series: Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived to Annoy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1594978
Comments: 8
Kudos: 62





	Evil Fluffy Creature of Death and Destruction

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic, it just wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it, I wrote it in about a half hour, I think it's funny, I hope you do as well
> 
> Update: 8 January
> 
> Forgot to add the disclaimer: I'm only playing in JK's sandbox, all characters belong to her, and I'm certainly not making any money for these 500 odd words, thanks

Severus Snape, Potions Master Extraordinaire, Bad Teacher, Hater of Children, and all round Snarky B*stard, was having a good morning. He had taken points from four different people, given out three detentions, made two students whimper, and all others run out of his way. Yes, he was having a very good day. 

Until he saw the Bane of his Existence, The Boy Who Lived to Annoy, Harry freaking Potter himself walking towards him. Not that it was unusual, seeing as Potter had the common sense of a depressed suicidal lemming. However, what Potter was holding was. It was a box.

Snape blinked a couple times trying to determine if what he thought he saw, was what he was seeing.

It was.

The box was gift wrapped. In bright neon pink paper. With rainbow coloured unicorns on it. Seeing as it was magical gift wrap, the unicorns were prancing. 

And there was a bright green bow on top.

"What are you carrying, Potter?" Snape asked, with a hint of desperation in his voice.

"Oh, good morning Professor. It's Voldie's birthday today, so I got him a present to let him know I am thinking of him." Potter replied, sounding completely sane, his Avada green eyes, so like his mother's, twinkling merrily as if he had taken lessons from a demented headmaster who shall remain nameless.

"What..." Severus asked, that hint of desperation turning into a flood.

"Yes Professor, I thought it was a nice gesture." Potter replied, with a smile of his ruby lips.

"You, Potter, have the self preservation instincts of a depressed suicidal lemming standing on a cliffs edge. Why would you do that?" Snape demanded.

"Because everyone deserves to celebrate their birthday Professor. I should get going so I can owl him this, so it gets to him in time for the meeting tonight. Have a good day Professor. Oh and Professor, maybe you should turn up a bit late when He summons you." With that cryptic warning, Potter walked off, leaving a confused Potions Master behind. 

Despite himself, Snape felt a shiver go down his spine as he watched the strange student leave.

* * *

When Severus Snape arrived at Riddle Manor, late, that night, he was met with a befuddling sight. Potter was standing there, outside the gates, stroking a little white bunny rabbit that was in his arms. 

Lucius Malfoy was standing beside Potter, looking confused.

"Potter, what??? _Why_ are you here?" Snape asked, sounding pleading.

"Well, Professor, I couldn't leave Snowball here." Potter replied, sounding completely sane once again.

" _Snowball_?"

"Well, his full name is Evil Fluffy Creature of Death and Destruction, but that is such a mouthful, so I just call him Snowball. Well, I should head back to school now I have him back. I wouldn't want to be late for curfew after all. Good night Professor, Mister Malfoy." Potter nodded at them both, and disappeared into the night.

Snape and Malfoy looked at each other in trepidation, then squared their shoulders and walked into the Manor.

Less than five minutes later, the two men walked out and stared at one another again. After the amount of blood and human bones scattered through the Manor, and the rapidly disappearing Dark Mark on their arms, the two, now former Death Eaters, knew the Dark Lord was gone.

"Firewhiskey?" Lucius asked.

"Yes." 

After Lucius apparated out, Snape turned to have a final look at the Manor and murmured,

"The power the Dark Lord knows not, hmm."

**Author's Note:**

> If you would, please leave a quick review to let me know how I could improve ^_^  
> Thanks for reading


End file.
